tea

Cup of tea (two teabags), a slice of Jigsaw shortbread, 6 sugars (sweet tooth, sorry) and I walk to the lifts to go back to my office.

A room on Sienna 2 (formerly known as Life Wing or Fire Wing or Bird Wing, or something).

Anyway, the lift door is about to shut…and it’s pretty full…and a guy I know (in my team) realises its too late for me to get in; shortbread et al. 

He shouts “Sorry, Sir… sorry…” as the doors shut…

I shouted back…

Not …”Hold the lift …”

Or “Send it back down…”

Or “My tea will get cold…”

Or “This shortbread’s beautiful…”

I shouted back…

“Noooooo…I’m not ‘Sir’, I’m just John. Don’t call me ‘Sir’ – yuk…”

The lift is gone. My words echo up the lift shaft. 

Sir …, Sir …, John …, John …, yuk …, yuk …

And there lies a problem. An age old one I’m sure.

Status. Decry it…Don’t relate to it…Embarrassed by it…which is why I shouted “Nooooo” up the lift shaft.

And it also manifested itself when I moved office…

The “Exec” used to be on Carrara 7…all plush deep pile carpets; Molton Brown in the toilet; big office (too big); clocks showing the time around the world (bit OTT based on the fact I’ve never ever needed to ring Buenos Aires); a little reception area…a kettle (oh, how I miss the kettle – especially bearing in mind my idiosyncratic need for tea, that looks like the River Severn in flood)…

Anyway, the offices weren’t a success…only me ever there (most of the other guys in the team are based in London or Perth) so it was a bit lonely… 

You could hear a piece of fluff drop, let alone a pin, so it was all a tad intimidating and a waste.

So…let’s all move came the cry. 

“You mean me?” (as I was the only one ever there)…

“Yes, you…”

“OK, fine. I don’t care. I don’t like big, hollow, lonely offices anyway. Fine.”

Sienna 2 it is…

So I arrive…with Janice, on Sienna 2…a month before I announce I’m off fishing (timing, timing!). The office is a tad smaller…in fact tiny in comparison with the chasm on Carrara 7.

And then I chat to someone/say “hi” to a guy on Sienna 2…and say “Well, I’m here now – isn’t that better?”

And they say…”No”.

Oh…I look crest fallen…

“Why?”

“Well, Sir…”  (aaah, noooooo). 

“It’s John. I’m John. I’m just John.”

“Well, John…some of us aspire to your level, your job.  And if we ever get there we aspire to a few of the trappings and some of the status that goes with it. Seeing you on our floor in a broom cupboard is not aspirational…In fact, if we bring outside Agencies or Partners or Brokers in, we want to bring them up to you, as a member of the UKGI Executive Committee, in a big plush office. We want them to see you as important. We want them to take note of the Molton Brown in the toilet.”

“Oh,” I said (or words to that effect)…”And what about me wandering about chatting?”

“Well, not sure it feels right…chatting with you about bit and pieces. You’re the Sales & Marketing Director…it’s not really appropriate or even if it’s appropriate it’s a bit, well, awkward. We might say the wrong things…and others on the floor will think we’re sucking up to you.”

“Yes…but I’m just John and I’ve known you for ages. Can’t we just chat like we used to?”

“But, you’re not just John, are you…not anymore.”